For Lack of Thee ~ C'est La Vie

"Such is life"

Since when should one retreat to live a life of mediocrity? 
I find that the best days of my life are those in which I grab
it in both hands, and hold on for dear life. Life is so rich &
fragrant. It is full of surprises, hurts, loves, disappointments
and fears. I felt abandoned and hollow inside for such a long
spell. God is filling me up again...but I don't know why or how. 


I watch my kids watching me, and I write because someday
I will want to share with them exactly how I felt. I want to be
able to tell them why I was sad, what made me so happy and
what just about did me in. It's part of my life...every single
minute of it, and without writing to remember the good times
and the bad, I will fail to teach them to learn from my mistakes.


Loving and being loved is the world's greatest challenge, but
it is also the single most beautiful earthly treasure to hold. I am
fragile, I am weak but being that one parent in all, I too am 
resilient and strong. I can do it all, but I can't do it all. I can
answer every question, but I can't. I can kiss every boo-boo, 
but I can't. I can right every wrong, but I can't. 


See, in my mind it is me, it is I who must love and protect and 
provide for these angels. But in my heart it is he, it is him who 
I need to help me answer every question, to kiss every boo-boo, 
and to right every wrong. I am one woman, one single mother
who is tired of games and trials and frustrations. 

I spoke to God today, and found a perfect understanding I needed
to learn. I ache, I fear, I desire...I burn! I long to feel strong arms
around us to hold us and keep us from harm. Arms that will love
us and guide us and teach us and shelter us and keep us warm.
God told me this morning that my heart is pure, and as the sun will
rise in the East and the waves will crash on the shore that he has
found the one fit for this role. When the right time is near, he will
appear. 


I do not need two, I do not need a choice. When I meet the one, I will instantly know his voice. The children will like him, his voice will be warm. He will open his arms to a love he's never known. A love so true, and so faithful that it will last for years to come! 


A man to love my heart before my size, a man who will love my mind long before he loves my eyes. I do not need him to be perfect, flaws are welcomed here...only requirement is that he will hold us dear. I may not be perfect, I know I have some flaws...but an open heart and honest ways will surpass any others who may be vying for this very same & beautiful heart.  


Peace & Love, 
Andrea