Courageous

Ask someone to define courageous, and you will get a variety of responses.

Who can be courageous?

What are the signs of a courageous person?

Why don't I feel courageous?

I just finished watching a movie titled...you guessed it! 

The film has left me with a void I can not fill. As great as the movie was, I can't help but feel like I am without because I can not give to my children what they need most. They need a role model, a man of christian character...a dad! Statistics, and research driven studies were cited in the movie about children who are raised in fatherless homes. For all the labor and love I pour into my children's souls...I pray that they will not fit the mold of what's typical. 

My heart was in turmoil at the end of the movie, when the main character said "God bless the mothers raising fatherless children...but they were not meant to do it alone." I am strong, I am stronger than those that try to kindle my flames...but I am weak too. I have faults, I am not perfect, but I live everyday laughing and loving my children. Piggybacks, barbies, baseball and Wii all fall back to me, and what a gift it would be to share it with a person so willing to give his heart to a woman and children who so clearly are in need. Taking another man's children under his wing as if they are his own. I know...challenging to find a man of such caliber and class. 

However, I know they exist. My stepfather was one of them. I have two great fathers. But when mine could no longer be there, he allowed my stepfather to take his place. He showed grace and understanding, and did probably the hardest thing imaginable. He gave up his parental rights to me and my sister so that my stepfather might adopt us and begin to help us heal. How could a mother ever ask for anything more? 

I pray tonight that God has created a plan, and set forth into motion the crossing of paths between myself and such a person. A person who will openly welcome me and my children into his life as if we were always there to begin with. My children deserve this and so much more. They don't need your blood, only your unconditional love. My son deserves to have a father who will hoist him over his shoulder on the way to bed,a father who will teach him to fish, a father who will tuck in my daughter with the gentlest of ways, a father who will teach her what to look for in a good man, and a father who will embrace their mother so that a model for positive christian living may forever be etched into their hearts. 

 

A challenge to all men has been written by this film...I wonder how many men will sacrifice their pride and egos to unmask the wolves hiding as sheep and step into greener pastures where women who patiently wait are watching? Take your time...I have found a comfortable perch from which to watch you rise. In the fields I shall wait for you...