Single Mom...Rockin' It Solo!

I have an abundance of patience for people who are short a few fries of a happy meal on most days. Most days. Today however is not a 'most day' today is a rare day. One in fact that got my blood boiling upon finding an article about single moms online today. I have had friends tell me that this is not an internet hoax as I though it might be. Upon researching further, I found another article that pushed me to tears. Let me elaborate. 


Here is a link to the first article I stumbled upon. Basically declaring that Single Parenthood is child abuse! Yeah, because I am ruining my children's future by being happier now than I ever was before. Senator Glenn Grothman is a moron...one who should be asked to leave his seat...yesterday! I don't care if he's christian, or right wing, or center...I don't really care because he has missed this one by a mile! Not every single mother is where she is because she chose to be there. If the only options are to live your life in misery or to leave the jerk and be a strong single mother...more power to you. 


I see that he is trying to play it off like we just need to stop glorifying it, but we can't. Single mothers need all the help, love, support and whatever you'd like to call it...to keep from going insane. When we ARE ready to date, we meet up with more creeps who rival our ex. Still only interested in sex, short term commitments and a total lack of mature and responsible thinking. So for just a moment, let's pretend that Senator Grothman actually knew what the heck he is talking about, he might just find that his time would be better spent advocating for boys to become men. To campaign for them to stop acting like women are prey, and demand that they better themselves. Oh, no wait...that might just imply that men are inferior to women...god forbid. For pete's sakes...we are EQUAL. No sex is superior....and it's high time we stop acting like it. Yes, our courts treat father's unfairly...I know! But for good reason...look at how they behave?! I am generalizing here, I know...not ALL mothers are good, and not all fathers are bad. There is totally the possibility that roles can be reversed...hence why we are equal. 

Not every single mother chose to be in her position. I personally, stayed with my ex through several affairs, praying for him to change. Praying for things to turn around. At what point do I get to decide that I deserve to be happy too? Obviously he gets to be happy, he was out banging any girl who caught his fancy. So, at what point is enough, enough?! Every case is different, and if our daughters don't know how to be strong, they won't know how to walk away from someone dragging them down. I'd never tell my daughter to stay with someone just because being a single mom will be hard. Neither will I let my son grow to be the kind of man his father was. I will strive to teach him better than that. Granted, there are things I can't give to my kids that a fatherly role model can, but I can try. I can love them, I can praise them, I can raise them to be happy and healthy and morally right. What I can't do is justify some prick in congress declaring that I am an abusive mother because I walked out on my cheating husband. 


If he had said that to my face I'd have slapped his right wing wig right off his chubby little face. YUCK! Here are a copy of the two amendments to the existing law that Grothman has proposed. Notice it makes no mention of alcoholism, drugs, etc...just single parenthood. 

Section 1. 48.982 (2) (g) 2. of the statutes is amended to read: 48.982 (2) (g) 2. Promote statewide educational and public awareness campaigns and materials for the purpose of developing public awareness of the problems of child abuse and neglect. In promoting those campaigns and materials, the board shall emphasize nonmarital parenthood as a contributing factor to child abuse and neglect.

Section 2. 48.982 (2) (g) 4. of the statutes is amended to read: 48.982 (2) (g) 4. Disseminate information about the problems of and methods of preventing child abuse and neglect to the public and to organizations concerned with those problems. In disseminating that information, the board shall emphasize nonmarital parenthood as a contributing factor to child abuse and neglect.

What about widows? What about women who leave abusive homes? What about women who are kicked out on the street by their children's father? Scenarios are as varied as the types of mothers there are in the world. No one can nor should say that being single is a crime, much less a form of abuse! If this article doesn't enrage you, it should! If you know anyone who is a single parent and making the best of it...speak up! 

Here is the second article. Buckle up and put on your boots cause the shit is getting deep! In this article, John Hawkins felt it imperative to tear down and bash single mothers. Not focusing really on single fathers. 

This was his Twitter post that created the frenzy in the first place. 

“Single mothers shouldn’t be vilified, but they shouldn’t be glorified either. They’re people who made bad life choices.”


WHAT?!?! EXCUSE ME?!?! Do I know you? Like hell I made bad choices. I made a few wrong choices in life, but I am in the process of making all the right ones. And how might some of the wrong choices be deemed the cause of my "singleness"? Seriously? If this guy had half a brain...he'd realize just how stupid he sounds implying that single mothers are not capable of making sound choices. I think he should meet up with Senator Grothman and relieve some "not getting too much action" tension. I am sure they are both really good at screwing around with other people's lives. 


I really am infuriated that they can hold such a low regard to women, and to the place that society has stuck them. Ask me the last time I got the full amount of child support that was MANDATED by the state? I can't remember. I honestly can't...not to say that he isn't trying, I know he is...he is also going to school. But it sure the heck doesn't help me. So how can Mr. Hawkins talk about ME making bad choices when I am doing everything I can to make life somewhat "normal" as normal can be. There is no normal anymore. The world is not 1970 where couples stayed together through thick or thin, sickness and health. We are a culture of ADD, and when guys (or girls) start wandering away from their spouse, no good will come from it. There are no more good decisions after they stray, except for one. GET OUT! 


I'm not sure who to share this blog with, but I am livid. I am enabling comments for this blog...so please sound off so I know I am not alone! 


I am a beautiful, sexy, successful single momma, rocking it solo...for now! I will not be alone forever, but until I'm not...I'm lovin my life, my kids, and my pursuit of happiness. But don't ever, EVER let someone tell me that I am abusing my children indirectly or otherwise, because they will live to regret it! 


Peace, Love & Happiness (whether you are alone or happily married...we all deserve it!)
Andi


Great Blog to check out on this topic: Solitary Mama