C'est La Vie
"That's Life"
So it has been a long and difficult 3+ years since the finalization of my divorce. I have been to court more times than I can count, and I have endured more abuse than any person ever should. I have learned a great deal about who I am, who I am becoming, and who I never want to be again. I am so very happy with where my life is going, but it wasn't easy getting where I am today. All too often people think they can just sit back and let good things happen to them, like they are just going to magically drop into their hands. From my experience, that really isn't the way it happens unless of course you have significantly better luck than I do.
First off, let me just say that I don't mean ill will against my ex, so we can call him Dick. If it helps you feel nostalgic and somehow connected to me...you can call me Jane. (Names were chosen with careful consideration...btw!) Dick and I met in high school. We dated and got engaged when we were between our 9th and 10th grade years. People like to think they are right when they tell me...ha ha see...it never works out when you are that young. True that we didn't work out...but wrong that I didn't love him. Wrong that I wasn't able to know, or feel true love at that age. I fell deep, and hard. Not sure how things got so twisted around and screwed up, but they did. He began cheating on me during our first year of college. We split for a year, got back together because of 9/11 and were married 3 months later in Dec. of 2001.
Two years later our princess was born. The nurse had the nerve to call her a chunky monkey, and if I hadn't been in so much pain from the natural child birth that wasn't planned...I'd have slapped her for saying that about my little girl. (Looking back now...yup she was chubby! No denying...but she was beautiful and healthy.) So then 14 months later, came our son.
I was back in college, and Dick was unemployed. Collecting WIC and Food stamps was so embarrassing, and a lifetime low for me. I hung my head every time I had the wrong kind of food, or I couldn't get something with the stamps. I promised myself that once we got out of that hole, I would never let myself sink back in.
I got my first teaching job, and stayed there ever since. So the reason I am writing now, is because I am beginning a brand new chapter (possibly even a whole new book) of our lives. I have been passionate about technology since 2008...and desperately waiting for a job to open up where I could work more consistently with computers. It wasn't till I got a Smartboard, that the integration bug bite me. I began helping other teachers use Smartboards, and teaching them what I knew about the software, and making lessons. I really found myself enjoying my time with my peers. I knew I had to get done teaching, and pursue a career in teaching technology...but just didn't know yet how to get started.
The starting sort of found me. My superintendent was so impressed with how quickly I became proficient at using the Smartboards, that he asked me to go to his college class, and teach them. I couldn't have been happier. I have been waiting for a technology integration specialist position to open up in this state, so that I could stay close to my family, and still pursue this dream. Little did I know exactly how fast this would all transpire.
Two weeks ago, I applied for a position in Southern Maine, and got a call to come in for an interview. I drove the 7 hour drive, had the interview and headed home. A few days later, I got an email asking me to call them, and then they told me to move to warmer weather, thus telling me that they wanted me to work with them. So now I am packing and trying to get things lined up before the big move which is only 29 days away.
Amidst all of this change...I have some fears.
I will keep you all updated, and share with you all the experiences I face as I step out into a new career path, a new life, and a new chapter in this beautiful life.
So it has been a long and difficult 3+ years since the finalization of my divorce. I have been to court more times than I can count, and I have endured more abuse than any person ever should. I have learned a great deal about who I am, who I am becoming, and who I never want to be again. I am so very happy with where my life is going, but it wasn't easy getting where I am today. All too often people think they can just sit back and let good things happen to them, like they are just going to magically drop into their hands. From my experience, that really isn't the way it happens unless of course you have significantly better luck than I do.
First off, let me just say that I don't mean ill will against my ex, so we can call him Dick. If it helps you feel nostalgic and somehow connected to me...you can call me Jane. (Names were chosen with careful consideration...btw!) Dick and I met in high school. We dated and got engaged when we were between our 9th and 10th grade years. People like to think they are right when they tell me...ha ha see...it never works out when you are that young. True that we didn't work out...but wrong that I didn't love him. Wrong that I wasn't able to know, or feel true love at that age. I fell deep, and hard. Not sure how things got so twisted around and screwed up, but they did. He began cheating on me during our first year of college. We split for a year, got back together because of 9/11 and were married 3 months later in Dec. of 2001.
Two years later our princess was born. The nurse had the nerve to call her a chunky monkey, and if I hadn't been in so much pain from the natural child birth that wasn't planned...I'd have slapped her for saying that about my little girl. (Looking back now...yup she was chubby! No denying...but she was beautiful and healthy.) So then 14 months later, came our son.
I was back in college, and Dick was unemployed. Collecting WIC and Food stamps was so embarrassing, and a lifetime low for me. I hung my head every time I had the wrong kind of food, or I couldn't get something with the stamps. I promised myself that once we got out of that hole, I would never let myself sink back in.
I got my first teaching job, and stayed there ever since. So the reason I am writing now, is because I am beginning a brand new chapter (possibly even a whole new book) of our lives. I have been passionate about technology since 2008...and desperately waiting for a job to open up where I could work more consistently with computers. It wasn't till I got a Smartboard, that the integration bug bite me. I began helping other teachers use Smartboards, and teaching them what I knew about the software, and making lessons. I really found myself enjoying my time with my peers. I knew I had to get done teaching, and pursue a career in teaching technology...but just didn't know yet how to get started.
Two weeks ago, I applied for a position in Southern Maine, and got a call to come in for an interview. I drove the 7 hour drive, had the interview and headed home. A few days later, I got an email asking me to call them, and then they told me to move to warmer weather, thus telling me that they wanted me to work with them. So now I am packing and trying to get things lined up before the big move which is only 29 days away.
Amidst all of this change...I have some fears.
- I fear that I will not be good enough.
- I fear that Dick will retaliate
- I fear that the kids will resent me.
- I fear that I will not sell or rent my house and I will flounder financially while making two payments. (House and new apartment)
- I fear the new and unknown.
I will keep you all updated, and share with you all the experiences I face as I step out into a new career path, a new life, and a new chapter in this beautiful life.
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