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Silence is Not always so Golden!

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So for the past several years as many of my closest family and friends know, I have fought long and hard to take care of my kids. Financially, mentally, spiritually, physically, and so on and so forth. In the last few months though, it feels like the world is conspiring against me to not give my kids some of the core things they so desperately need. I get that there are always people out there worse off than us...that isn't the reason for this blog tonight. The purpose of this blog is to share with whomever chooses to read it...just why my heart has been hardened and why there is so much animosity in certain relationships. Such animosity that sometimes it gets to me at such a poignant level inside that I can't focus on current tasks at hand. Here goes... As of today, I am owed $ 6,373.18 in child support.                                       $ 1,580.48 in health insurance costs                                       $    739.20 in dental insurance costs                  
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777 - Lucky in Love

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So in looking back at my previous posts , I realize that I have been granted practically every wish I had hoped for. So it began late September. I met this nice guy who had a great energy. When we met for the first time, it was simply easy and completely natural. With other 'meetings' in the past there was an awkward level of forced conversations. This wasn't like that at all. He had brought me the prettiest white roses and pink daisies. We sat that night and talked for a very long time. When he left, my thoughts were immediately thinking of when I could see him again. We got together several other times to talk and get to know each other. In getting to know him, I began to watch a genuinely kind and caring side of him emerge. The way he holds my hand, the way he looks in my eyes, the way he hugs me super tight, and so much more. He has a soft but firm voice in the presence of my children and they respect him for it. He knows how to laugh, he's incredibly smar
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Single Mom...Rockin' It Solo!

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I have an abundance of patience for people who are short a few fries of a happy meal on most days. Most days. Today however is not a 'most day' today is a rare day. One in fact that got my blood boiling upon finding an article about single moms online today. I have had friends tell me that this is not an internet hoax as I though it might be. Upon researching further, I found another article that pushed me to tears. Let me elaborate.  Here is a link to the first article I stumbled upon. Basically declaring that Single Parenthood is child abuse! Yeah, because I am ruining my children's future by being happier now than I ever was before.  Senator Glenn Grothman is a moron...one who should be asked to leave his seat...yesterday! I don't care if he's christian, or right wing, or center...I don't really care because he has missed this one by a mile! Not every single mother is where she is because she chose to be there. If the only options are to live your life in
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How the *beep* did I get here?

At exactly what point is it that we allow society to have a say in how we feel about ourselves? At what point do we allow doubt and anxiety to settle into the cavities of our minds and reside as if they belong there? This week was a trying one for me personally. On so many different levels...so I won't lie to you. The week started off on a natural high like no other. I won't divulge any details because it is private still. In time, more details will modestly be provided...but for now, just know that Monday was not a typical one. It was the best day of last week. As the week progressed, and my hunt for an apartment labored on, things began to go from bad, to worse, to pathetic. On top of the hunt for a home...I was highly insulted by a person I have been very close to for a very long time. So as I have been hunting for a nice place to hang our hats, I have seen quite a bit more than I care to, and I have heard some pretty sketchy remarks about these different places. One ho
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For Lack of Thee ~ C'est La Vie

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"Such is life" Since when should one retreat to live a life of mediocrity?  I find that the best days of my life are those in which I grab it in both hands, and hold on for dear life. Life is so rich & fragrant. It is full of surprises, hurts, loves, disappointments and fears. I felt abandoned and hollow inside for such a long spell. God is filling me up again...but I don't know why or  how.  I watch my kids watching me, and I write because someday I will want to share with them exactly how I felt. I want to be able to tell them why I was sad, what made me so happy and what just about did me in. It's part of my life...every single minute of it, and without writing to remember the good times and the bad, I will fail to teach them to learn from my mistakes. Loving and being loved is the world's greatest challenge, but it is also the single most beautiful earthly treasure to hold. I am fragile, I am weak but being that one parent in all, I too
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Freedom From Within

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Today during mass, the preacher gave a great sermon about learning to be free from the inside of your soul. It struck such an emotion with me that I am going to share it here. Not because I want to preach biblical philosophies, but because it just might spark a fire in someone else's soul and cause them to reflect on their lives as well. From the note sheet: Today we celebrate with millions around the world the singular event that has changed world history: Jesus Christ, the Son of God has been raised from the dead. One question remains: Has your history been changed? Do you enjoy a life marked by freedom through the "same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead?" I heard the pastor ask us to keep one question in mind as he shared the 7 freedoms with us. "Does this describe your life? Do these freedoms describe your life?" Here is the bulleted list: Freedom for guilt Freedom from sin Freedom from self Freedom from fear Freedom from bondage F
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Satisfactory Saturday

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Is it really possible that I could feel such a sense of contentment in just staying home today? YES! This week has been a crazy whirlwind of activity. Most of it is activity that is not ready to be shared yet in full disclosure, but things feel good from it and to me, that is all that is needed. So, today I was hesitant to get to my 9:00 spin class, but so glad I did. I left there feeling full of energy and a new sense of accomplishment because it isn't hurting anymore...it's starting to feel great! After my class we had to run to the Shop & Save to get some supplies for dinner and for tomorrow... (wink wink) Of course since I had to have the kids stay in the car...the self check out refused to work right because naturally I was in a hurry! Right? We got home, I prepared dinner, and made the kids their lunch. Dishes are done, and now they are outside playing. Probably scaling the walls of the house ;) and I am sipping my raspberry chocolate cappuccino wrapped up in a
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